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Pros of Mormonism from the perspective of the
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Believer
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Ex-believer
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In a confusing world with fluctuating standards, it’s wonderful to have eternal truths made plain with the Proclamation to the Family. We know that gender is an essential characteristic of our individual, premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose. The truth has been made plain to us that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God. We know that exaltation relates to eternal increase, which is incompatible with homosexual relations.
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Cons of Mormonism from the perspective of the
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Believer
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Ex-believer
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It can be confusing to be a part of the church when one is a believing member and also a lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transsexual. Many believing, faithful Mormons have tried to pray to have God make them straight. Some even received counsel that God would remove this burden from them if they lived righteously. When this doesn’t happen, many faithful members feel unworthy and feel depressed, and many even commit suicide.
Never being able to marry and engage in physical intimacy means a life predestined to loneliness, forfeiting the companionship that is arguably necessary for a happy life.
Many thoughtful, heterosexual, believing, married Mormons feel cognitive dissonance when asked if they would be able to live a celibate life like their LGBT brothers and sisters if asked by the prophet. With honest introspection, few are able to answer in the affirmative. They might still believe, however, that if God requires it then it is the right thing to do and will bring happiness in the end.
Some believing members feel it is hurtful that children of gay parents are forbidden baptism, forbidden the gift of the holy Ghost, have an extra requirement to disavow same sex marriage for baptism when they are 18, and are thus likely made to feel outcast.
Thoughtful believers might have cognitive dissonance when they think of their LGBTQ brothers and sisters and the words of some scriptures: it is not good that man be alone and men are that they have joy. Believing members who have gay, active children often feel great sorrow that their children will not feel the joy of companionship and love if their children remain faithful in the church. Believing members might feel a great deal of cognitive dissonance that their recommendation to their children is to leave the church and seek happiness.
Many believing members also support gay marriage and must question how they can be in good faith if same sex marriage is now, by definition, apostasy. It is concerning for many believers that being against gay marriage causes harm, because it is safer for gay couples to be in a committed, monogamous marriage than other types of gay lifestyles.
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The ex-believer, whether gay or straight, likely views the church’s policies and doctrines regarding LGBT issues as one of the great harms that the church commits. It is arguable that the church is directly responsible for the pain, suffering, and deaths of many of its LGBT members.
Never being able to marry and engage in physical intimacy means a life predestined to loneliness, forfeiting the companionship that is arguably necessary for a happy life.
The ex-believer, when asked if they would be able to live a celibate life like their LGBT brothers and sisters if asked by the prophet, likely views the notion an absurd, antiquated notion that reduces happiness with no reciprocated benefit.
Many ex-believers feel it is hateful and in the least feel it is hurtful that children of gay parents are forbidden baptism, forbidden the gift of the holy Ghost, have an extra requirement to disavow same sex marriage for baptism when they are 18, and are thus likely made to feel outcast.
The ex-believer, when they think of their LGBTQ brothers and sisters and the words of some scriptures – it is not good that man be alone and men are that they have joy – might feel a great deal of anger in the discrimination of the church. Ex-believers who have gay, active children would feel great sorrow and anger that their children will not feel the joy of companionship and love if their children remain faithful in the church.
Ex-believers can sometimes feel anger that they are associated with an organization that practices discriminatory policies against LGBT people. Indeed many ex-believing Mormons have resigned over this issue.
In evaluating Mormonism from the outside, some ex-believers wonder what their believing friends and family would feel about LGBT issues if they didn’t have the influence of the church in their lives. If it were not for the teachings of the church, how many Mormons would be favorable towards gay marriage and supportive of their LGBT brothers and sisters pursuing stable, committed relationships? It is hard to see how the church is not turning otherwise good people into bigots. True believers have the awkward position of trying to justify homophobic and discriminatory policies and often become bigoted in the process.
To many homosexual people, the term “same sex attraction” that the church uses is disrespectful. This terminology frames being gay along the lines of an affliction, a struggle, or a trial. It leaves little room to be proud and encourages shame over a gay person’s sexual identity. The church does not use phrases like “those who are gay” or “homosexual members”. The lack of identity given to gay people goes further. The church teaches that all people, gays included, who did not have a chance to receive all the blessings required for exaltation in this life can do so in the next. This means that gay people will become heterosexual in the afterlife, which is a belief and concept that is offensive to many.
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